Stop me if you have heard this before, Matthew Stafford Leads Lions to comeback win in season opener.

What a god damn game. And that had nothing to do with the fact that I may or may not (definitely did) have some units on the game. The game started off pretty wonky with a Frat Stafford interception returned for a touchdown that had every Stafford hater harder than a diamond in an ice storm. Wasn’t the best start for the highest paid player in the National Football League but was it anything that we as Lions fans weren’t used to? There was something different about this game though. The defense came to play and really played inspired football even though it seemed like they kept being put in terrible situation time and time again. And don’t even get me started on the abortion that was our special teams. (Not talking to you Prater, you deserve all the rum and cokes your dad bod can handle). Not being able to field a long snap for an extra point is disgusting and not being able to simply punt a ball when that is literally the only thing you need to do while Sam Martin is hurt makes my skin boil but I digress.

While a win is a win, I feel like there are a ton of things that can be taken away from a game like this.

  1. Don’t give us points Vegas WHEN WE ARE AT HOME? +2 at the Den is downright disrespectful and I honestly don’t even feel right cashing the ticket. (But please do it as much as you want, me winning every time won’t break your bank)
  2. Jarrad Davis is the real deal. The rookie held his own in his first career start at linebacker and seemed to be in every single play. It is nice to finally have a little bit of stability at the linebacker position since the coveted Ernie Sims days so I am excited to see this core get more and more experience with each other. And don’t even get me started about his choice to go raw paw and not wear any gloves on those hands. Looks like a god damn Orc in middle earth and I for one am here for it.
  3. Is Kenny Golladay better than Calvin Johnson? My Column: Probably not but it is awesome to have some height again at WR because frankly as good as Marvin Jones and Golden Tate are, you need someone who you can just throw a ball up to and make a play. Also, everyone needs a little #MACtion in their life. The Northern Illinois Husky has been impressing all preseason as someone the lions can lean on and holy fuck did he ever show up. He had one for two drops early that could be blamed on nerves but he showed up big when we needed him most. I will take 2 TDs in a debut every single day and twice on Sunday.Screen Shot 2017-09-10 at 5.35.10 PM.png
  4. Matt Prater is the second coming of that weird looking fuck Jason Hanson (No offense ). 58 yarder? Dude is automatic. Liquor running through his veins. Not having stable kicking is something that can be an Achilles heel for a good team so it is nice to not have to worry about number fifth. Whoops, I meant 5.
  5. Our defense can get us out of some pretty precarious situations. Sometimes for better or worse, Stafford can get us into some with the best of them so it’s nice that our D can sometimes play as the eraser.
  6. Cardinals are a decent team but we cannot start games like we did today. Hopefully it will be a successful learning tool because if not, It will be Same Ole Lions all over again.

Next stop, Monday Night football baby!!

Lets go!! 1-0



Worriers Win

The Supervillians beat out the Monsters in 5 (complete opposite of my overzealous prediction) and KD finally got what he asked for. To have the same number of rings as JR and Shump. Golden State left no one in doubt after those first three since Draymond passed to dick kick torch to Zaza in the form of a punch to keep himself eligible. Although I see this a degrading to idea of earning a “world” championship, a win is a win.

Food for thought for the NBA: if you’re going to give Russ the season MVP for averaging a triple double and being a shade over .500, shouldn’t Bron have gotten finals MVP? I mean come on! The dude showed up EVERY game. Took one after the Greek Freak and lead everyone in each statistical category. Meanwhile KD goes 9-22 in GS’s loss, only being a factor on the score sheet. Even though I only watched the fourth quarter of game 3, I can confidently say the Cavs rag tag roster (comparatively) did little to help the cause.

If the Cavs come back from 3-0, the MJ-Bron debate is over. But now the greatest player ever has to be second to the goat, hear 3-5 chants for the next year. When he goes 3-6. Only because this Warriors team will probably win the next 4 or 5, undoubtedly starting with a fourth matchup between them and the Cavs. The end result will become that rings are meaningless and everyone is just playing for money and endorsements. The NBA will become the EBA (Entertainment Basketball League) as AAU shoot shoot shoot determines who our future stars are. So basically I won’t watch anything but Detroit and Portland next year. Just a waste of time. Thanks KD.


Dwade is a Cav in 2018

PS – love the hats they got for this year. Simple but clean. 

PSS – starting a lawsuit for GS to change their mascot. Demeaning towards Natives.

Trilogy of the century

The trilogy is set for all the marbles. With the Warriors making quick work of a depleated Spurs roster and the Cavs taking care of Boston, we have an unprecedented 3rd Finals matchup between the two squads. Normally I’d be upset by the fact that, by default, the most predictable sport has the two favorites battling for it all, but this year is different. Like most NFL fans, who don’t understand it’s overtime rules, I hate a tie and need a victor. With the series tied 1-1 I’ve got the Cavs coming out on top. Regardless of your chosen bandwagon, we can all agree that a competitive series would benifit the majority. As long as we don’t have a Godfather III type of show, all will be good in the world. 

The good ol’ Worriers left no one in doubt when Zaza took out my boy Kawhi early on and finished off a rag tag team of pine riders lead by Genobili. Side note – his block on Harden is the reason they got to the WCF. While I don’t find Zara’s play intentional or dirty, it is never fun to have a series decided following a superstar’s injury. The three pointers were falling and GS has proven they will be tough to stop if they can carry their lights out shooting into next week. Although, they still need four more wins to accomplish their goals… no sh t DayDay. 

The Cavs had a hiccup or two but never left me in doubt. There’s no way Bron would let that team loose to Racist-town, America and miss out on a SEVENTH straight finals appearance, quite literally putting him on the brink of this years all time goat convos. Plus he’d have everyone on that team blackballed from the NBA should an act of the Irish gods reign down. Kyrie appears to be in a groove heading into these finals, too. Thomas’s injury helped the Cavs but I personally don’t see much being different if he stays healthy. Maybe another win for Boston, but that would be all. Regaurdless, a loss benefits Cleveland heading into the finals because now they know how badly they don’t want it to happen again. 

As aforementioned, this Finals brings me more interest than the previous two. These teams know each other so well for opposing conferences that the game will (hopefully) be closer than the rest of these painful playoffs. Then again, it could easily go 7 with blowouts in each contest and I would not be surprised in the slightest. GS not loosing a game does give me a case of the worries because one bad loss in the first two at home could send them into a death spiral for the next three at the Q. 

My conscious tells me Cavs in five, and my gut says six. This is all given Kyrie stays hot (extremely likely) and Love shoots unconsciously (TBD) from the corner in a game or two. Either way, Shump and JR will have more rings than KD, Steph, Klay, and Draymond combined, and THAT is what really excites me. 

Cavs Vs Warriors Trilogy, Let’s Go*

Cavs win game 1

Warriors win game 2

Cavs win game 3

Cavs win game 4

Cavs win game 5 (ON THE ROAD AGAIN) 

Bron is basically the G.O.A.T. with every stat from here on out (AT LEAST ONE MORE TITLE) 


*very drunk at City Park Grill  

UPDATE: Because I am the man I am, of course I fucking threw money where my mouth is. 

Juventus finishes off Monaco 2-1 for UCL Final bid

The old lady is back in the Champions League final. After a ROUGH start to the game our zebras showed their stripes winning the second semi-final leg 2-1. Juventus notched both of their goals in an up and down game for the fist 45. Settling back and dominating possession in the second half. Next stop is a finals date in Wales, likely against Real who will be looking for their third UCL title in the last four years. 

The first half would make an American-football fairy swell up. Monaco came out swinging and didn’t miss by much. Flip the English on the ball, move it 3 inches to the other side of the post, and Monaco is up 1-0 within the first 10 minutes. But Buffon was able to stay cool as a cucumber knowing he hasn’t been scored on in Champs League play since November (knock on wood). About halfway thru the half the Juves settled down, started putting passes on feet and broke the “The Red and Whites” (dumb nickname) defense in the 33rd minute. Beautiful ball from Alves to Mand┼żukic did the trick to put the zebras up 3-0 on aggregate. A couple perfectly paced thru balls to Higuain right after calmed any nerves I had at the start. Naturally, Monaco came back down the pitch where Chiellini had to save one like the vet he is. The first half finished off fabulously with Alves slicing a full-volley to the lower right from deep.

Juventes controlled most of the second half, playing with 11 men behind the ball. But once again the tables turned half way thru as Mbappe wined and dined 69 minutes in (jinxed Gigi). After that the grit came out and things got chippy. A handfull of yellows made an appearance and Monaco was pressing for another. The Juves held strong tho, and now move onto a UCL final at Cardiff on June 3rd.